From the Desk of Susan Maria…

Repeat after me, ‘I cannot control how I am perceived; I can only control how I am presented.’ – Tim Gunn, style expert

I didn’t expect to have an epiphany watching Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style on the Bravo channel, but I did. I know a lot of people who are so worried about what other people think about them that it has a negative impact on their life. Obesity adds an additional layer that makes us feel even more strongly that there is something inherently wrong with us.

When you try on a dress or pair of pants that doesn’t fit, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you; it just means that those pants were cut for someone else. We are all different, we are all unique; there is no perfect size 10. This also applies to life. Most of the time there is nothing wrong with us, but we take ownership of negative results and allow it to erode our confidence. (He didn’t call me back, it must be the way I look.)

Weight is not a character flaw; it’s what you look like, not who you are. It’s like a coat that we remove with the help of our bariatric surgery; however it’s up to us to nurture and love what is underneath once it’s gone.

The ‘life coach’ on the show also had inspiration for the pretty but self-doubting girl they were helping. His advice was for her to think of a favorite song that really makes her happy; and then walk to the music of her life! She suddenly smiled, stood up straight and walked with confidence and outlook that even minutes ago had evaded her. I thought of the music of my life, and it made me smile too.

Basically it once again boils down to attitude… be proud to be yourself!

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Goals
You’ve Got To Reach Your Goals! Part 1
by Suzanne Foster

Suzanne Foster is a successful post-op who is known on the boards as Suziannie. Suzanne had a Lap-Band procedure performed in January 2006, and is very active in our board family. We're happy to have her as a new contributor!

As both pre- and post-op WLS patients, goals are important. Once properly set in place, goals become the best assistance in not only achieving but maintaining a higher level of expectation for your life. Successful goal achievement can also provide one special thing: a boost to your self-esteem! There is no better feeling than when your dreams become a reality.

Goal setting is a daunting task for most, though it can be easy if you take the right steps:

1) DETERMINE – Determine what you REALLY want. Be specific.

2) OUTLINE – Outline what you want to accomplish…on paper! This will help you hold yourself accountable. Think of it as a contract with yourself.

3) TIME – Take time to ponder why you want this particular outcome. Is it for your health? Someone significant in your life? Your Family? Or is it for you?

4) SET – Set a deadline to reach your desired goal. Be realistic. Don’t set expectations that you know will be impossible. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day either! This is especially helpful for those of us with health issues. Having a “finish line” will guide you further into making your dream a reality.

5) STRATEGY – Strategize your course of action. Make a list of what steps you need to take in order to achieve your desired weight/fitness level.

6) ACKNOWLEDGE - Remember to acknowledge each passing step and milestone throughout your journey. Don’t forget to celebrate your successes!

What the goal is isn’t as important as the fact that you are making the goal. Your goal can be as simple as setting aside 10 minutes a day to reflect on your food intake or as big as making your weekly meals in advance and freezing them for easy use. Regardless of the size of your goal, I highly suggest finding a tracking method that works for you. For food tracking, there are several excellent Web sites out there. One of the most popular sites is FitDay. Or, if you’re up to it, take a moment to create a spreadsheet that will count and track progress as each day passes.

Remember that reaching for “The Big One” all at once isn’t always the best way to go. Breaking your goals into smaller, more manageable “bites” is a great way to section out your targeted weight loss into attainable realities – one baby step at a time! You will still reach your desired result but you also get the added bonus of several “mini” successes, which help to keep you motivated and on track with “The Big One.”
Sample Breakdown:

The “Big One” Goal – Lose 200 lbs. via Lap-Band surgery and lifestyle changes
Current Date: 8.15.07
Current Weight: 350 lbs
The Big One Target Date: 12.15.2010 (3½ years)

Mini Bite 1: Current Date: 8.15.07
1. Walk the parking lot 1 time during lunch
2. Eat sensible meals
3. Lose 8 lbs
Target Date: 9.15.07
Target Weight: 342lbs

Mini Bite 2: Current Date: 9.15.07
1. Walk the parking lot 2 times during lunch
2. Cut down on evening snacking
3. Lose 8 lbs
Target Date: 10.15.07
Target Weight: 334 lbs

Next month, we’re going to talk about positive motivation—it’s so important to be motivated in the right direction during this journey! In the meantime, start your goal writing. Decide what is important to you and make that contract with yourself to achieve it!


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Good Morning!
by Megan Moon

Morning can be a hard time for just about anyone—coming out of several hours of slumber, needing nourishment—and, as post-ops, we have a few extra things to factor in, like morning protein, vitamins, and exercise! Luckily, there are a few ways you can maximize your morning time to make your transition to the new day a bit easier! Who couldn’t use an easy morning?

Stick to a schedule—Try keeping a regular sleep schedule every day (even weekends!). Going to bed and waking up around the same time each day helps your body become used to a routine, which leads to better sleep patterns. Remember—eight uninterrupted hours of sleep will do your body good!

Prepare ahead—Take time each night to set up for the next morning. Set out your canister of protein powder or be sure your RTD is chilling in the fridge for the next day. Have your vitamins out and ready to go for the next day. Try setting out your workout clothes and setting up your workout space if you do a morning workout.

Don’t snooze—When the alarm goes off, start to move around in a way that prepares you for your day, rather than just hit the snooze button and sleep! Stretch, read a little, do something to get your mind and body moving!

Eat a healthy breakfast—You’ve heard it a million times—you need breakfast! You should start your day with a protein-rich meal that’ll set the tone for the day. An ideal post-op breakfast would be about 250 calories and pack in 20 grams of protein. That’ll hold you through the morning hunger that so often creeps into your day!


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Believe in Yourself - Florida Event

Time is flying towards the fall and our fabulous Fort Lauderdale event is on the horizon of November 1-4, 2007. Please do everything you can to join us in our celebration of post-op life. It is going to be a wonderful time and we have already planned a Meet & Greet Party, makeovers by Smashbox cosmetics, sightseeing tours of Fort Lauderdale’s beautiful waterfront, an Elizabeth Arden Red Door spa day, trips to the beach, and lots of time to spend laughing with people who understand exactly what you are going through… post op friends that you just haven’t met yet. On Saturday night we are having a great time planning our outdoor gala with live music, dancing, food, and more fun than you can imagine.

We have secured a special block of deluxe suites at the fabulous Gallery One Doubletree hotel which is in the perfect waterfront location for this event. You can book the hotel package for one night, or all three nights on BariatricEating.com. We will have a package available for our locals who want to participate in our scheduled activities for the hotel property but wish to sleep in their own beds at night. Complete details are on the website if you click here or call us and we can send you a brochure.

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The Singles Corner
Online Dating
by Malia Robinson

Malia is our resident message board goddess. She has a new found love for life after dropping over 140 pounds and she isn’t finished yet. Malia has chosen to share her adventures and self discovery as a single woman in the world of dating. Just don’t make her take off her earrings!

Like most of you, I tend to be a pretty busy person. I work fifty-plus hours a week on the night shift, which makes having a social life pretty challenging (at best!). Add to that the fact that I pretty much loathe the bar scene and refuse to date the men that I work with…well, it is not hard to see why I began to see online dating as a option! Now, I know what you are thinking! Online dating is dangerous; there are only losers and serial killers online. I did weigh all those factors and decided to give it a shot anyway.

I started by looking at some different sites. I won't name any of them here because I am just a poor public servant and don't want to end up talking to lawyers. There was the site where I quite possibly spent more time filling out their questionnaire than I did on my SATs, only to get an email to inform me that I am "unmatchable.” Well darn! I guess I won't be blissfully waltzing to Natalie Cole in their commercials anytime soon!

Then there was the personals site that run by a popular search engine. It was the equivalent of your local singles meat market. I was propositioned by several married men and I also discovered that submissive men think that dispatchers are sexy. There was one man that emailed me from there that I thought had potential. His initial email didn't say anything about handcuffs or how his wife doesn't understand him. It didn't use any of the following terms: "shawty," "Ma," "Boo," or "Down for anything." I sent him a response and we had a brief correspondence. I told him about my WLS and his response was "Why on EARTH would you butcher yourself that way”?! Even though I was more than a little offended, I made an attempt to correct what I thought was simply his ignorance. But he refused to see my point of view and continued to berate me for the decision I made and informed me that he considered me "damaged goods." At that point, I simply blocked his email address and took my damaged self out for a new pair of jeans!

I was close to giving up but I decided to look at one more site (Hey, after all, that TV shrink said it was “Ok to look!”). I posted my profile and promptly forgot about it. A couple of weeks later, I got an email notification that I had a message. I rolled my eyes, but I dutifully logged in. I found an email from a man that lives in my city (Holy Cow! He lives blocks away--not continents--like so many other “potential matches”!). He is divorced but doesn't hate his ex-wife (Is that even allowed?) and (miracle of miracles) is a POST-OP himself! We exchanged several emails, then phone calls, and then we even went out!

So far, things are going well. It is a relief to not have to explain the pouch rules to him. When we were going out for dinner with his friends, he shot down an Italian restaurant by saying, "We don't do pasta." It was nice not being the lone freak that doesn't do carbs! And he even said to me that he was glad to meet me because it was going to be nice getting smaller and healthier together. We don't always agree but I even like the way that he disagrees with me. No raised voices or attempts of physical intimidation. Now, there are no wedding bells being rung or anything like that, but I will admit that I cancelled my membership on the site! I'll keep you all updated!


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Jim's Journey
by James Legan

Jim, also known as 'Noble' on our boards, keeps us up-to-date on a month-to-month basis on his progress. Jim had a lap RNY performed on July 10, 2007 by Dr. William O’Malley at Highland Hospital in Rochester, NY. Jim is a great example of a dedicated post-op, and we look forward to continuing to follow his story.

Well, here I am, nearly two months out and I am putting down my Wii for a few minutes to give you an update.

For starters, other than being a bit too eager to get back to a normal tempo of life and pulling at the healing muscle incisions, I have been complication-free (knock on wood). Life is pretty much back to normal, minus the learning of new routines (like getting up at least 30 minutes earlier to get breakfast in). To be honest, if nothing else, this down time has taught me to slow down a bit--whether or not it is a lesson I retain remains to be seen.

As for my progress, well, I am happy with it. I have started exercising (walking and the like), but I will start hitting the gym this month. For right now, I am just going to concentrate on cardio (elliptical) and will worry about the weights when I have less of a risk of developing a hernia. I am down forty-three pounds and twenty-eight inches, just one week shy of two months. I am wearing all XL shirts now (down from 2-3x), and I finally broke down and bought some pants this weekend that are size 42 regular. A month before surgery I had bought some size 48 relaxed fit for comparison.

All told, I am a pretty happy camper. I have had no issues with the foods I have tried. I am getting in a gallon or more of water a day, which is great, as I am normally a 2-gallon-a-day guy. I am getting between 90–110g of protein a day and enjoy not even thinking about food anymore, other than when I forget to eat.

The pictures this month were ones I posted on the board over the last couple of weeks. I promise to get some more comparison shots in the usual garb (um, underoos?) for next month, if for nothing else to create gossip. :)

Take care,
Jim


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The “Dish” on Cholesterol
by Megan Moon

We hear a lot about cholesterol—from our doctors, from the news, in just about every advertisement for any form of “health food.” But, what do our cholesterol numbers mean? What’s the deal with “good” and “bad” cholesterol? Here’s the dish:

Low Density Lipoprotein Cholesterol (LDL): Also known as “bad” cholesterol, LDLs load the liver with cholesterol and dump it into blood vessels. This is the “gunky” stuff formed when free radicals target LDLs and convert them. This is the culprit that builds up on arterial walls and initiates clogging.

High Density Lipoprotein Cholesterol (HDL): This would be the “good” cholesterol you hear about. HDLs are more desirable because they actually help “confiscate” cholesterol from the bloodstream and take it back to the liver for removal and they also help prevent LDL oxidation.

Total Cholesterol (TC): Basically, cholesterol travels through the body in packages called lipoproteins. Your total cholesterol count provides a snapshot of your overall heart-disease risk by reflecting the values of both HDLs and LDLs.



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Dolly's Star

At our fantastic Las Vegas Believe celebration in July, I met Mary Kay and she made quite an impression on me. I noticed her quietly sitting in chair in the corner of the crowded hospitality suite at the Meet & Greet party; she hardly said anything to anyone. However, the smile and happy look on her face as she watched the crowd told how she really felt.

I wrote to Mary Kay, asking her to be my Dolly’s Star for the month because I was moved by her bravery in traveling from Boston to Las Vegas. I sent her a list of questions in order to write her story, and she asked me if I would print her own words as she hopes that she may influence someone who was quiet and shy like herself. Once I read her story, I was even more touched by her heart, as I felt I was reading a lot of my own very difficult past.

Here is her story...

I have had problems most of my life trying to lose weight. I was on the heavy side most of my early teenage years; I have been very heavy since my early twenties. I got bigger after I got married and bigger still after my pregnancies. My husband was a very jealous man who was always thinking I was cheating on him. He would explode at the drop of a hat. I was always the receiver of that anger. He never touched the children, thank the Good Lord.

I had a short period when I lost some weight by taking diet pills. When the pills stopped, my weight returned plus more. I also got very depressed. When I put the weight back on, I was continually told how useless and how stupid I was. I was not allowed to socialize unless I was with him. I had no friends. He eventually left me for another woman who was supposedly my close friend. What a blow that was!

I have always hidden behind my fat to avoid doing or accomplishing things. I also used the excuse that I had no time to meet people because I had to help care for someone. I spent the following years raising my children, working two jobs, and helping to care for my grandmother until she passed. After that, it was my mother, until she, too, passed. It was after her passing away that I started to realize that my own health was in jeopardy. She had diabetes, COPD, and various other related problems. I had diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and a very high weight.

In April of 2001, I decided I wanted to have WLS. I made an appointment to see my surgeon, Dr. P Perugini. He said I was a good candidate. At the time I was unable to control my diabetes with medication or insulin and my blood pressure and cholesterol were also high.

After attending all of the mandatory pre-op meetings and appointments, I had my surgery at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center--June 22, 2002. My top weight was two hundred seventy-three pounds; I weighed two hundred forty-five pounds at the time of my surgery.

I had one complication after the surgery that had me wondering if I should have gone through with the procedure. I spent a week at the hospital because I could not keep anything down and what came up was foul tasting bile. My surgeon said that the stoma was very small, and with the swelling, it did not allow liquids to pass through. Things were better after the swelling went down. I did not have any other problems, and in the following months, I reached the weight of one hundred sixty pounds. I was very happy about this.

I stayed at this weight until about two years ago and I slowly gained thirty pounds. I had started to drink wine--just a small amount at first--the amounts getting to be more and more. It seemed like I could just never get enough. I have since learned that sometimes people who were formerly food addicts develop cross-addictions to things like alcohol after WLS. We have to be so aware that other addictions could replace the food. This may have happened to me. In the past year, since finding this board, I have done much better in this area.

Going to Las Vegas was a big step for me--I usually never go out unless it is with my daughters or grandchildren. I do not do things alone; I hide at home. When I arrived, I found the hospitality suite, entered, looked around, and fled to my room. If I had not had a roommate (JudyR), I would have sat in that room all night. (Thank you, Judy!) I want to say “thank you” to Susan Maria for making the trip possible, and opening up possibilities that I never realized that were there. 

I think when I had the surgery I may have thought that this was going to solve my problems. In reality, it made me more aware of them; I now have to face being shy and withdrawn, without being able to hide behind my weight. I need to find ways to open up and be a real person. This might be something to consider tackling in therapy. I am afraid of doing that too…afraid of what might come out of it.

Do I regret having the surgery? Most definitely not--I would do it over in a heartbeat. I only wish I had been more informed about how to do things further down the road. I am not a perfect example of WLS. I find myself struggling with not gaining and wanting to lose the weight I did gain.

My surgeon told me at the time of my initial consultation that, more than likely, I would never be off my diabetes medication, even with the surgery. Just a note here, I am five years out and my diabetes, blood pressure, and cholesterol are all under control! I do not take any medication for any of these. The only medication I take is for some bone loss. There are many positives in my life and I am seeing them more clearly now. I can walk without getting out of breath. I can move my seat in the car all the way up and still have room between the steering wheel and me. Life is full of NSVs every single day!

Congratulations, Mary--you are a star in my eyes!

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Couple Talk
by Shelley Meyers

Shelley is active on the Before and After message boards. Shelley and her husband have had WLS; Shelley has decided to share their story as a WLS couple with us.

Okay guys, time to tell the kiddies to leave the room, we’re gonna talk about the fun stuff…as the philosophers Salt and Pepa say, “Let’s talk about sex, baby!”

Sex and intimacy after WLS are an interesting phenomena. Many of us have spent a lot of time overweight and self-conscious. We didn’t like our own bodies, and we certainly didn’t think anyone else would. Moments of passion might have been dampened if our partner turned the light on, moved their hands to our more “fleshy” areas, or wanted to engage in some acrobatic feat that we knew was going to be physically challenging or impossible. Now, before I get letters, I know that many of you had very high self-esteem and were proud of your sexuality. I believe that most of us, however, probably had a few struggles.

So, now you’ve lost some weight. How have things changed? I can tell you (no details!) how things have changed for Shayne and me. Shayne is at goal weight right now after losing one hundred ninety-four pounds. He has lost a whole person! He tells me all the time that he feels so much closer to me, now that he can actually get closer to me. I feel the same way. At three hundred ninety-four pounds, intimacy just wasn’t as…intimate. He has more energy and more stamina. Losing weight has lots of rewards, guys!

Recently, Shayne asked me if I would like the lights on or off. I wasn’t sure if I had heard him correctly. This was the guy who would perform all kinds of maneuvers to ensure that I didn’t actually see him naked. I’ll be honest--it used to hurt my feelings. I felt that he must not have understood how much I loved him or was attracted to him. No amount of explanation from me was able to change that…until he lost the weight.

Lest you begin thinking that we have become totally wild and crazy, let me just say…um, no. We still struggle with body issues, but not to the same degree. It’s hard not to look at some of the loose skin and wonder what our partner sees. For me, although I’m happy with my fifty-four-pound weight loss to date, I see a flat butt where my rounded one used to be. My breasts are shrinking, and they were pretty small in the first place! I will probably forever be looking in the mirror, admiring my new body, then adding “If it wasn’t for THIS problem,” or “Ewww, look at THAT”. The good part is that I have a husband that loved me 54 pounds ago and still loves me now, flaws and all; and I love him back. We had surgery so that we could lose weight and get healthy, with the promise of a long lifetime together. Isn’t that what it’s all about?


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The Men’s Corner
It’s True—Real Men do YOGA!
by Megan Moon

Guys, I know what you’re thinking….Yoga? You’re crazy. You’ve lost your mind. Well, guys…I’m not. About 23% of Americans who practice Yoga regularly are guys. Okay, so you’re still outnumbered…but the male population is definitely picking up on this popular exercise trend!

There’s more to Yoga than just sitting peacefully in a tranquil room and holding the same pose for five minutes. There a many different forms of Yoga practice, including some that are very intense, athletic, and fast-paced, like Vin-yasa and Ashtanga routines. Many professional football, baseball, and basketball players report practicing Yoga regularly to increase strength, endurance, and flexibility. There are numerous professional golfers who reap the benefits of Yoga on their hip and shoulder flexibility, giving them more power and greater distance on their strokes.

One study out of Ball State University showed a ten-percent improvement in lung capacity after fifteen weeks of regular Yoga practice. Dr. Dean Ornish claims that there is a definite cardiovascular benefit for those who practice on a regular basis. There are currently studies being conducted on the effect of Yoga practice on insomnia and chronic lower-back pain.

Several major business executives have announced that they practice Yoga to improve their mental game. They claim that the mediating strategies improve the clarity of their mind, allowing them to be on top of things in their high-intensity business meetings. Golfers make a similar claim—that the relaxation and concentration strategies they apply on the Yoga mat translate to the course and their focus on the ball.

So, guys…why not give it a go? To find a studio near you, click here. Or, pick up a DVD and start at home—I highly recommend the Living Arts series. See you on the mat!



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Move to some music
Suzanne Foster shares her playlist...

Looking for a little extra push during your workouts? Music can be a great way to improve your mood throughout a workout! New music is always a fun way to mix things up a bit and is something that can spice up any workout.

Feel like sharing YOUR workout playlist? E-mail editor@believenewsletter.com with your list and tell us what you like about each song or what exercise you do to each piece…your playlist might make it in next month’s newsletter!

Give the following playlist a shot; it’s loaded with fun music that works well for cardio. It runs just over 30 minutes with a total time of 33:25.

Chains of Love (7” Remix) by Erasure 3:41. There’s nothing better to move to than 1980’s dance club hits!

It’s My Life by No Doubt 3:45. This can be a great song for running with its upbeat and steady pace it’s almost like it was written for a morning jog.

I Want You Back (Z-Trip Remix) by Jackson 5 4:35. Nothing like old school Motown to put a little pep in your step! I found this particular remix on iTunes, but the original version would be just as good.

Whenever, Wherever by Shakria 3:16. Shakria’s offbeat lyrics and the fantastic pace of this song make it great for getting through the halfway point in your workout. It’s all downhill from this point!

Good Vibrations by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch 4:25. Any ladies out there remember what Marky Mark looked like? That body was most definitely the result of many long workouts! Picture him as you push through the rest of your workout.

Now That We’ve Found Love by Heavy D and The Boyz 4:17. Try to stand still during this song! I dare you!

Rebel Yell by Billy Idol 4:46. Just in case you need a little “more, more, more,” this song should do the trick

I’m Too Sexy by Right Said Fred 2:50. This is a short reminder of just how awesome you truly are!

Getting Jiggy Wit It by Will Smith 3:50. At this point, you should feel pretty proud of yourself! The toughest part is over. So, as you finish up, take a moment and enjoy this great dance tune and think of yourself being out there on the dance floor looking slim, fit, and fantastic. Getting’ jiggy wit it!


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Be a World Traveler

Now that your world has grown bigger as you’ve become smaller, I would like you to join me on a fabulous trip to London & Paris. We have made arrangements with a well known tour agency for our selected dates of April 26-May 6 of 2008. Our trip is limited to just 17 people so don’t take too long to say yes. If you have always wanted to travel but just weren’t quite brave enough to tackle the challenge, find the strength to come with us to see Big Ben and the Eiffel Tower! The 9 day package includes airfare, nice quality hotels, high speed train transportation via the ‘Chunnel’ from London to Paris, and hotel breakfasts for approximately $1975, with slight variations in pricing depending on your airport city. Send an email to LondonParis@bariatriceating.com and we will send you an online brochure of trip details or call us at 888 777 4202 and we can mail one to you.