She didn’t know she was morbidly obese. I cried when I found
it. I never want to forget where I came from or the pain
of the girl in the photo.
Remember to plan ahead for your protein and vitamins for
summer vacations. We don’t plan to fail, we fail to plan!
The Vegas Before & After Celebration will be here before
you know it and I truly cannot wait to meet those of you
who are able to be there. Time is flying, don’t allow life
to pass you by. Jump on in!
Ciao,
~Susan Maria
_____________________________________________________
“GOD,
SEND ME A SIGN!!!”
That
was what I was thinking that dark and cold night of January
18, 2006. I was walking to my car after spending the evening
with my parents and my Aunt and Uncle eating at Ryan’s Steakhouse.
I had made a huge decision in my life; choosing to go to
Las Vegas with Susan Maria and represent Bariatric Eating
at the bariatric surgeon's conference. My plane was scheduled
to leave early the next morning. My mind wondered if I was
doing the right thing - could I do it? As I opened the door
and climbed into the car, I turned on the radio and the
first words I heard were “VIVA LAS VEGAS!” This trip would
change my life.
The feelings
I had when I walked into that Las Vegas airport to wait
on Susan Maria can’t even be expressed in words. Coming
from a life where everyone else was in control of what I
did I finally found the nerve to “fly” on my own. Oh, that’s
right--I had never been on a plane at that point, I had
no idea what it would even be like! I look back and I realize
what a brave person I was, to get up one morning at 3:00
am and drive over a hundred miles to board a plane for the
very first time, all alone. Of course, I had a love of adventure
and needed to do this for myself.
For
many folks going on the Las Vegas BElieve trip, it will
be another memorable trip. For some, it will be the first
time going on a plane, first time to Vegas, and even the
first time “going” anywhere alone for a lot of people. Don’t
be afraid, there will be friends there that you just haven't
met yet, and there is so much fun to be had in Vegas. Now
I know that if I hadn’t chosen to go, I’d be sitting here
wondering “What if??”
Things I remember
most about my trip... my heart racing as I waited for my
friend Suze to come walking down the corridor; the smile
on her face and the smile in my heart when we finally met;
getting into the limo butt-first (Suze had warned me of
this so I wouldn’t bump my head ); Suze and Ty walking me
to my room while I looked at my plastic key card thinking
how the heck do I open the door with a card; learning about
Sushi and eating with chopsticks for the very first time
(I mastered the skill in 10 minutes though!); walking to
the casino that went and on and on, thinking “Did we go
outside? Is this the same building?”; that you can't take
pictures inside a casino(oops!); the blue Christian Dior
dress in the shop window; Dolly’s Rolex watch; sparkly purses;
the noise of a Roulette wheel; sneaking into the high rollers’
bathroom (shhhh it's not really sneaking--you just have
to have the right attitude and know that you DESERVE to
be in there, but don’t steal the fancy toiletries as that
WOULD be wrong); the corner of my window seat that I named
Dolly’s Corner where I sat and thought about my life and
begin to write my feelings; but most of all I remember standing
in line at the buffet in the Wynn resort; Suze and I were
holding huge white plates and she looked at me and said
“Come work for me. No matter where you are in this world,
Bella you are important to me and we will work side by side
and head to head to pay forward our good fortune and help
others do as well as we did with our surgery.” My shoulders
went back, my head perked up, my smile widened. I had finally
met the person that I call my best friend, and she BElieved
in me, and actually wanted me to be a part of her company
as well as her life!
Las
Vegas is honestly where I learned about love… what happens
in Vegas stays in Vegas you say? But I learned to love me,
and that love stayed with me. What happened in Vegas gave
me hope, it gave me strength, and it gave me courage. It
gave me the willpower to eventually love myself enough to
do what was important to me. I finally got the courage to
leave an abusive marriage, a marriage that had been over
for years, a marriage where I had been both physically and
emotionally scarred. It gave me the courage to pursue a
job that I loved. Sometimes when Suze and I are riding down
A1A with the top down on the car, or when we are sitting
at Legal Seafood having a crab cake, or when we are piled
up on her bed looking through a box of old pictures I think
myself how each step in the journey brings us closer to
our destination. Las Vegas was a huge step in my life.
Often I go back
and read my own story in Dolly’s Corner and many times my
Vegas story brings a happy feeling over me because in my
heart I know going to Las Vegas was the turning point in
my life. You can read about my trip here at: http://store.bariatriceating.com/dollyscorner.html.
Over the past
several weeks I have wondered how many people out there
who are getting ready to make this BElieve Vegas trip are
in the same boat I was in. How many folks are making their
first trip, meeting new people for the first time, I wonder
how many of you are afraid of what lies ahead, yet brave
enough to take the risk.
I
know for myself when we all gather at Wolfgang Puck's restaurant
and we lift our glasses to toast, it will be a moment of
reckoning for me. I have come full circle in my life I feel
like I am going back to place where life began for me…Some
call it sin city, but I call it heaven..
See y’all there!!!
~Teresa
White
_____________________________________________________
Develop Inner Strength
Summer
is here! Okay, get out a pen. If you have always wanted
to _______________(fill in the blank), or wish you had the guts
to _______________(this one too!), our burning question this
month is: What's Stopping You? In your work life, social
life, love life, sex life, it's time to say goodbye to inhibitions
that are stopping you from living.
When you prepare to walk down the center aisle of a restaurant
and recoil as you imagine everyone's eyes upon you; repeat
after me, 'So What?'. When we have a superb idea in the
office 'brainstorming' session, and stay silent because
of fear, 'Speak Up!'. When we worry about what we look like
in our swimsuit at the beach, and even consider not going;
say it out loud, 'Who Cares?'. Have confidence in yourself.
Confidence grows from a seed within ourselves. Have a proud
and shining summer. Learn to love yourself.
_____________________________________________________
The
Singles’ Corner
Resentment
A lot of things have surprised me in the two plus years
since I began my journey. Some of them have been good surprises,
like suddenly being in a smaller dress size or being able
to run up a flight of stairs that used to leave me panting.
Some are not that great, we won't even talk about the first
time I tried to eat scrambled eggs!!! But the one thing
that caught me off guard was a feeling of anger that seemed
to pop up out of nowhere.
Logically I knew that when I had the surgery I would lose
weight. And that losing weight would make me more attractive
and acceptable to other people. But I didn't expect it to
tick me off!!
Being 400 lbs has a way of stripping all the sexuality from
you. To be fair, I rarely experienced any blatant mistreatment.
It was a lot more subtle than that. I would be in a nightclub
with other girlfriends and men would approach them and I
would be left playing "Purse Security" I felt
like I was made of cellophane. On a few occasions men would
approach me with the intent of getting an introduction to
a friend.
After surgery things began to change. I became "visible".
While before I could go around town in relative obscurity,
now I had men rushing to open doors for me and going out
of their way to smile and say hello. When I had imagined
this happening before, I was always pleased and more than
a little smug about it. When it actually occurred I was
shocked to discover that I was mad!!
"Why? Isn't that part of what you wanted?" You
ask? Well kind of. When I sat down and thought about it
what made me mad was the realization that the only thing
that had changed was the number on the scale. Was I somehow
better now that I weighed less? And if I wasn't good enough
for them then, I didn't want them now!
That kind of thinking kept me from dating for a long time.
I had to find a way to deal with my anger and basically
just get over myself. I came to the realization that the
men that I was meeting now aren't the ones who had snubbed
me in the past and it is not fair to take that anger out
on them. And it has made a difference. It is a lot easier
for me to talk to men because I am not comparing them to
the way I thought they were in the past.
~Malia
_____________________________________________________
Fitting
Exercise In to Your Travel Plans
With summer months here many of you will
be making travel plans. Now, prior to WLS I would NEVER
have thought about getting my exercise in during travel.
In fact, I looked at travel as a reason to relax and avoid
exercise! Now I find two of the first items in my suitcase
are my running shoes and my workout clothes! I’ve
learned that exercise can be a fun and exciting activity
to work into your travel plans.
A
few times a year I take business related trips to conferences.
When making hotel reservations for these events it’s
very important to me to find a hotel that offers a fitness
facility. I love to get online and look up hotels where
I will be and find the hotels with awesome gyms. I’ve
found that many mid¬-range hotels offer fantastic gyms.
I’ve also found that when sitting in conferences all
day long it helps me stay focused and awake when I start
my day with a brisk walk/run and some weights in the gym.
I remember the first time I worked out at one of these hotel
facilities, because I was shocked to see how many people
are up bright and early in that gym!
Last
week I was on travel for business and our condo unit did
not have a gym. Instead I tried to walk everywhere I went
and used the pool to swim laps. While at the condo I also
noticed that the stairwell would have been a great workout
opportunity. I didn’t have a chance to run these stairs
as I was on a business trip and my time was limited but
when I return it will be on my list of exercise routines.
My point is, take advantage of the opportunities around
you. Near a monument with stairs? Run up and down those
stairs! Near a local high school? Use the track as your
walking path! In a city with a lot of places to walk to
and from? Get those walking shoes on and don’t rent
that car!
Another
easy and effective trick of exercise and travel is to bring
light workout equipment with you. A jump rope and an exercise
tube are easy to pack and can offer a fantastic workout!
You can find great routines for both of these items online.
Print out these exercises and take them with you in your
bag. That way no matter where you end up each day you can
get that fitness routine in.
I have
found that my vacations have now become more centered on
physical activity since WLS. As you plan your family vacations
make sure to plan exercise for the entire family. Plan to
swim in the hotel pool, hike a local mountain, plan walking
sightseeing tours, rent bikes for an afternoon, or just
toss a ball back and forth. Not only will this extra movement
be good for you – it will get your family in shape
as well!
Exercise
can make your vacation so much more enjoyable. Often while
traveling we sit, in the car, or on a plane, for longer
periods of time than we usually do. Exercise can make the
sitting more tolerable. It’s important to stay hydrated
and eat right. Also remember to plan appropriate meals and
snacks so that you won’t be tempted to go overboard
at one meal.
I hope
your travel plans this summer are fun and exciting and that
your plans involve more movement than ever before! You’ve
worked hard to be smaller and healthier – Enjoy the
NEW YOU!
~Lisa
Hall
_____________________________________________________
EXTRA!
EXTRA! - Read all about it!
"The
difference between ordinary and EXTRAordinary is just a
little bit of EXTRA." I remember hearing those words
in a business seminar a few years back. Think about it...it
is very true! In our post-op life do we want to be just
ordinary or EXTRAordinary...not so successful or very successful?
Are you willing
to give that little bit of extra? Post-op life is exciting,
but there are many challenges. It requires lifestyle change
with EXTRAordinary strength, discipline and perseverance.
There are so many amazing things that we can do and opportunities
that we can take advantage of once we begin to lose weight,
feel better, gain confidence and get closer and closer to
the thinner and healthier person that we have envisioned
ourselves to be. When we lose weight, we gain energy and
endless possibilities for life, but it will not happen automatically.
Yes, it might be possible to accomplish our goal with just
ordinary effort, but for a lot of us it will take EXTRAordinary
effort to reach our goal...and especially to remain there.
Do not settle
for ordinary. Strive for EXTRAordinary! Think about what
aspects of your post-op life you could improve upon. For
myself, I need to apply extra effort to make sure I am faithful
to an exercise regimen. Actually, now that I think about
it, I need a double dose of EXTRA so I can work on my stomp-out-grazing
efforts too! I have noticed a tendency to grazing instead
of planned meals and snacks lately, and I recognize that
even though I am eating healthy things and staying within
my daily boundaries it could still be a behavior that will
lead me down the wrong path. Where could YOU put forth just
a little bit of EXTRAordinary effort in order to ensure
greater success?
Stay focused,
imagine and envision the person you aspire to be, and then
apply that little bit of extra to create the results you
desire. Do not let negativity or self doubt take over your
thinking. If you have setbacks -- and you will -- push through
them with a positive, never-say-die attitude. Each day is
a new day with new challenges and opportunities to prove
to yourself just how EXTRAordinary you can be!
The journey does
not end when we reach goal. For a lot of us that will be
when the hard part of our journey will begin...can you say
maintaining?!! Whether you are struggling to reach goal
or struggling to maintain, there is always room for that
little bit of EXTRA.
Take a few minutes
every once in a while to reevaluate where you are in your
journey. Identify areas that you could work on and then
make a commitment to yourself to do it. Be extra diligent
and determined despite the challenges and setbacks. Give
that little extra to become the best that you can be...you
might just enjoy EXTRAordinary success!
~
Bettyboo
_____________________________________________________
Men’s
Corner
This month, one of our
board members, Jim (you may know him as “Noble”),
shares the beginning of his WLS journey and the thoughts
he has as he prepares to have RNY later this summer. Thanks,
Jim, for sharing!
So,
here we are, 4 years of research and 10 months of pre-op
work later; expecting to have an official date right around
the corner. I had done a significant amount of research
on weight loss surgery, before I was even considering it.
I am a guy, 300 pounds; I look like a bouncer, built like
a football player and I was so sure that I could do this
without surgery. I don’t stand down from anything.
Admittedly, part of that has to do with my age, size, gender;
but here I am, 29 years old, about to undergo a major, life
saving operation. I am writing this to tell you how wrong
I was; and for those of you that have gotten to know me,
that is not something that was easy for me to do.
I
am an engineer by trade, I live and breathe logic. I knew
the science behind WLS, but for some reason they were not
talking about “me”. I proved it to myself by
dropping 67lbs in 3 months on Atkins, albeit I put that
plus 10 lbs back on in the 4 months to follow, but that
is because I was just slacking (or so I kept telling myself).
I have been clinically morbidly obese (or worse) since I
was 10 or 11 years old. Through all of this pre-op work,
I managed to get my hands on copies of all of my medical
records, going back to when I was 10. At eleven years old,
I weighed 211 lbs.
I never
had to worry about being bullied at school because I was
always the biggest kid. Sure, sometimes people would make
a comment, but only from a distance and even then I would
let it roll off of me. As an adult, no one thinks I weigh
300+ lbs because of the way I carry it. I am very lucky,
given my body frame and how well proportioned I am.
That
is not to say that aside from obviously being obese, I am
not without physical issues. Let me start by saying that
I am an extremely confident person by nature. However, I
do have a single physical insecurity that my obesity deeply
contributed and has been a sensitive subject for me since
I was in grade school. I have a significant case of Gynecomastia
(aka “Man Boobs or Moobs”). Yes, it bothered
me; but it wasn’t a major focus for me during the
time when I was married.
Now
that I am about to undergo this surgery, and transform my
body, I have very deep and very real concerns about how
this physical aspect of my body will react. Yes, they will
be significantly reduced, but, so will my stomach which
will make it much more obvious. I know that plastic surgery
is in my future, that much I am sure of, but as far as fears
as a guy goes, what I will look like between the day I get
cut and the day I get cosmetic surgery is the one true fear
I have. This of course is not going to stop me on my journey,
but it is the one thing that has truly given this guy pause
while walking this road to changing my life (for the better)
forever.
I look
forward to sharing more of my story with you as I go through
this journey. It’s a huge change, and there don’t
seem to be a whole lot of guys talking about these issues
together. Let’s break down that wall and be there
to support each other!
~Jim
(aka Noble)
For
the last two weeks, we have been running around like madwomen
getting ready for the American Society for Bariatric Surgery
convention in San Diego, California. It takes quite the team
effort to prepare and ship our gargantuan booth, banners,
equipment, products and everything needed to highlight our
fantastic company for four thousand bariatric professionals,
all the way across the country to practically the exact geographic
opposite of where we sit in Pompano Beach, Florida. No pressure
there! On top of all that, we have to look good (in high heels)
while we do it, eeeeeeek!
The
new edition of Before & After is scheduled for national
release June 26th at your favorite booksellers everywhere;
I am so jazzed I can’t stand it! I received a FedEx a few
days ago with two advanced copies and just melted when I
saw them. It has a beautiful teal blue cover instead of
pink this time and it contains updated information, additional
recipes, and the perspective of a six year post op; it blows
my mind that it’s been that long! 
However,
with this newfound outlook on life, there comes
an element of fear—after spending years
being SMO, it’s hard to put oneself out
on the line; to let people see you take a risk
and potentially fail. I tend to worry far too
much about what others might think about me—about
how I look, act, etc. It’s a challenge
for me to put myself out there without feeling
like the fat girl that everyone’s looking
at because they’re amazed at her weight.
This
month while deciding on Dolly’s star,
I thought about how my own self-esteem and positivity
can sometimes be in the backseat, although I
am ready to drive. While surfing the board I
noticed how one of our members has grown (no
pun intended), and how her love for life has
really blossomed since I have known her.
